FRESH from prison with good job prospects, these beautiful sons and daughters of Eve graduated with various degrees after six months’ crash programme organised by the Prison Fellowship of Nigeria, Covenant University
Gbubemi God’s Covenant Snr
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It depends largely on what took her to prison in the first place. I will first weigh the nature of her crime because that will reveal a lot of her kind of person. Secondly, I will consider whether she was rightly or wrongly convicted. If her offence is a common human error, like something valuable was entrusted in her care, but got stolen and she couldn’t account for it, or that she stood surety for someone who escaped and was jailed in the accused person’s stead, I could under those circumstances marry an ex-convict.
ReplyDelete‘But if it is criminal or murder case, I will not open my eyes and go into that kind of marriage because criminal and murder cases have some- thing to do with the human nature. If she killed once, she could kill again if the circumstance presents itself; and if there is a criminal content in the heart that spurred her to it in the first place, then it’s an even bet she will do it again, so I will hesitate a lot to marry an ex-convict.’
a journalist practising in Lagos. concerned about the propriety of the larger society. ‘With the general perception in Nigeria about ex- convicts, I don’t think I will marry one. That is not saying I despise the ex-convict as a person, but what the public will perceive or see her as is the issue since I will be seen with her and she will be called by my name as my wife.
ReplyDelete‘As a journalist, one may be in a party setting, a social gathering and you start hearing whispers, even bold comments like, ‘she’s fresh from prison,’ or like we Yoruba will say, ‘Elewon,’ which is a derogatory word for a jailbird, even though nobody knows why she went to prison, whether she was wrongfully jailed or not. She could have been a political prisoner, which could happen to anybody, but people may call her a jailbird. It’s against this background I will never take such a woman as a wife.’
Port Harcourt based transporter
ReplyDelete‘How can I possibly come in contact with an ex-prisoner close enough to want to marry her? Ex-prisoners should marry ex-prisoners like themselves.’
Will you employ an ex-convict in your business, or consider a female ex-convict armed with a degree from prison for a wife? This question was rephrased to a 41-year-old Lagos based businessman, Ali and he said: ‘Employing an ex-prisoner to work for me will be decided by the contribution that person can make in my business, that is, what he has to offer. If he can fill in the post I require I can employ him or her; I do not see his past record as a threat. If he had gone through a course while in prison and is awarded a degree or certificate, then I expect that he would have learnt his lessons and must have repented, therefore it’s only proper to give him a trial. Stigmatisation should not apply here so I will certainly employ him if he has the required skill that will satisfy the position he applied for.
‘That is not saying I will not interview him to ascertain what took him to prison; he must go through due process. Some people go to prison for a crime they did not commit while some are jailed for flimsy reasons like fighting, so we cannot just generalise ex-prisoners and condemn them. After a thorough interview and I’m convinced he is a victim of the system I will give him a chance.
‘As for marrying an ex-convict, one will have to fall in love first because you don’t marry someone out of sympathy; and during the period you court her in friendship, one can ascertain whether she still has that prison orientation in her. With a thorough observation it should be easy to know if she’s a changed person or not. Some people live with men or women who are worse than criminals and they still make a living. Prison is not a place that condemns people but a place for correction.
‘As for marrying the woman, I see it as a personal decision. If the woman will come clean and tell the man all she’s been through, I don’t think it would be out of place to marry her although there is some element of risk there because over time, her true characters will show. But if I decide to marry her, I may not broadcast her record to my family members and friends. Well, maybe to those few friends who are close; otherwise I don’t have to bring up the issue, but just keep things quiet to respect the personality of the woman.’
‘Certainly not, I will never,’ said a building engineer, Dotun Olamide of Ilori Street, Ire-Akari Estate, Isolo. ‘Marriage is not a child’s play; it involves every member of the family of both sides. I will be at a total loss to explain to my family members whom I want to marry and why I have decided to marry her.
‘If they find out she is a jail bird, even if she has a Master’s degree with a guaranteed job in Central Bank, I will not present such a woman to my family. Besides, I am a principled man; I have to think of the future of that kind of marriage. Nature can be funny: Who knows what kind of person she really is apart from having been to prison? I would rather not risk my future.’
dealer in generators at Iyana-Ejigbo, Lagos, off Ikotun-Isolo Road.
ReplyDeleteThe training they received before leaving prison is good enough reason to deal with them.
‘I believe they must have been reformed before government will assist them to read for a degree; and learning more I believe he will not go back to his old ways.
‘As for marrying a woman from prison, there really is no difference between those that are ex-convicts and those that are not. They’re all the same. I say so because nobody writes it on their faces that this person is an ex-convict. If I take her home, nobody would know she’s an ex-prisoner unless I tell them. So long as she satisfies me, that’s all I want. Love covers everything. Even if my friends know, it will not have any effect on me whatsoever.’
Hotelier at Rasaki Estate, Amuwo-Odofin in Lagos.
ReplyDelete‘It is not an easy question to answer just like that because we have known some of them who go back to their evil ways after they are released, although this may be because they cannot find help quickly. One of such came to our church recently just as we finished service one Sunday and asked for help; before we could even put heads together to know what to do he had stolen a handbag belonging to one of our members but we caught him. Therefore, before I employ that kind of person he must have a guarantor that is well known in the society, preferably a lawyer, police officer or a high ranking prison official who can attest that he knows the man enough to stand for him.
On marrying an ex-convict, ‘Well, I thank God I am already married, but if I were not married, I will first find out whether what took her to prison was a genuine human mistake because she may be innocent. On that premise I will consider to marry her, but if it is criminal offence of which she is guilty, then there is no reason to open my eyes and jump inside fire.’
A Prison Fellowship of Nigeria (PFN) counsellor who prefers to remain anonymous was asked if she would stand as a guarantor for one of the people she has counselled upon release for a job and she said it is against the rules of the prison ministry.
And that is a major problem with ex inmates. I tell you that many of them remain in prison because no member of their own family is willing to stand as a guarantor for them. Even after we arrange for their bail, their family members declined to stand for them.
‘Even without that official order, it is not safe to stand guarantor for those people we know, how much more someone serving a prison sentence or one who has served and is looking for a job. We have had many cases of breached confidence and all that, but PFN now has a department we call Rehabilitation Unit, made up of officials who continue to monitor, counsel and encourage ex-convicts. Even as I speak to you, one of the last batches of graduates is living with one of our officials. It is hoped that the church will release some money for her to start something of her own. It is the best way they can carry on with their lives.’
So there you are folks. Two batches of prison graduates are in the labour market and receiving them back to the society as staff of our companies or as wife is a collective responsibility. It begins with you.